Giving up Instagram for Lent, and why I'm giving up giving up...

Just over a week ago I decided to have a break from Instagram and as it coincided with pancake day I figured I might as well say I was doing it for Lent.  This wasn't for a specific reason, I just wanted to see if I could do it and I'd read a couple of articles about screen time being bad for you and taking away from being 'present' in life.

I've been using Instagram for a few years now, mainly sharing my crochet makes, and I really enjoy being a part of the crochet community, looking at what everyone is making, sharing ideas, taking inspiration from the many wonderful designers and makers.  I also love posting stories (as in the video stories) of my day to day life with the kids, the realities of my motherhood, some crochet bits and my home goings on.  I've been surprised by how many people take the time to message me or respond to things I've written or talked about and I really value the interactions I have.  It's a big part of my life so I knew I'd miss it.

Now, I know I've only been off Instagram for a short time but whilst I've been away I've noticed a few things:

The house is tidier and I've done lots of sorting out.  My pile for charity is toppling over and my downstairs toilet looks like a shed (again).

There are loads of blogs out there that I had no idea existed.

I get more crochet done in the evenings if I'm not looking at my phone.

I don't take as many photos, or look for the pretty things day to day.

I'm lonelier. 

Now don't get me wrong.  I see Mr Hopo in the evenings and we chat about what's gone on in the day and I'm looking after the kids and we are constantly chatting about toys and Peppa Pig (bloody Peppa Pig) or the school gossip (Eugenia* says that mummys wear nappies and they bleed and that daddy's give mummys a seed to eat to have a baby, is it true?).  But other than a brief chat to other mummys at the school gates or if my sister comes over I don't see other adults.    So I don't have anyone to tell when funny things happen, or when my days been going so infuriatingly that I'm hiding in the fridge eating a family sized bar of chocolate. 

The moment prior to eating ALL the chocolate I can find...

But I can tell Instagram.  And I know that I'm not on my own because there are lots of lovely people who let me know that they're going through it too. 

I appreciate I might sound like a complete sad sack, after all why don't I just go out and meet real people?  Well, the truth is I find it hard to just get out and about.  I do 3 school runs a day because of nursery and school so have to be near to home otherwise I get really anxious about being late.  Having people round can be stressful when the house gets really noisy (I'm quite (very) noise sensitive).  Going to other peoples houses causes the same issue plus I have to take food etc for Melie who is allergic to dairy and eggs.  In short, trips out or meeting up with people tends to cause me more anxiety than enjoyment so I don't really do it.  I'm a firm believe in knowing you're limits and quite honestly, if I do too much then I end up a gibbering wreck.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that in my time away from Instagram I've realised that for me it's a support network, a group of friends (most of whom I'll probably never meet), an outlet, a place where I can be me.  And giving it up isn't making me happier.  I don't give the kids any less time by being on it, but the house is a but more 'lived in'.  And if by sharing my day to day guff I feel a bit less lonely I figure it can't be such a bad thing. 

That said I'll probably still keep my phone in the kitchen in the evenings and I might not post as much as I was, but I'm no longer giving it up for Lent.  That might make me a failure, but it seems to me that motherhood, parenthood in general, can be a pretty lonely place and if a group of virtual friends makes it a bit easier then it's not worth giving up.

* name has been changed to protect the identity of the bloody child who keeps telling Sophie stuff that means I get asked ridiculously awkward questions. 

PS I'm still allowed an Easter egg right???

PPS, the photos don't at all reflect this blog post, they're just there cos they're pretty.  Except for the photo of me, that a representation of me going loopy loo.  It's pretty frequent round here...

Spring, spring, spring

When I was younger one of my absolute favourite films was Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.  It's got a song on it called Spring, spring, spring which unsurprisingly it's about the coming of spring, and it's very catchy.  (I used to fast forward between the songs and play them at full pelt, but once chose to do this at 6am on a sunday so was then banned from leaving my room until my parents were up.) 

Anyway, I have been humming that song all day because today it truly feels like spring.  The sun has been shining, and it's not just fake sun, it's actually quite warm. We've played in the garden for hours, walked / cycled to the playpark to play some more, spotted snowdrops and crocuses and baked a cake.  I also got to see the most amazing sunrise this morning but typically didn't have my phone to take a photo.  The sky looked like it was ablaze and it was stunning.

Yesterday I went to watch Paddington 2 at the cinema with Sophie and I highly recommend it.  So many good bits and if you're anything like me you'll smuggle in your crochet for some undisturbed hooky time.  I literally crammed my bag full of yarn and did worry a bit that they might ask to look in it but thankfully nobody did.  I'm not sure what I would have said if they had!

I made some granny squares because I don't have to look at what I'm doing and I'm working on some colourful anything goes ones so it didn't matter how they'd look.  I'm pretty pleased with them.  I had planned to make a picnic blanket but now I'm thinking about making  a project bag.  Decisions, decisions...

February Half Term

It's half term here so I've got the kiddiwinkles at home and we've been keeping busy with trips out and lots of activities.  Think baking, painting, play doh, dog walking and a museum trip thrown in for culture.  We went to Strangers Hall in Norwich which is a small Tudor house in the city centre.  It's not massive and took us about an hour and a half to get round which was long enough for us.  

Sophie found it fascinating and joined in with the activities on offer - folding a paper boot, helping prepare a Valentine's feast and chatting to staff.  Olivia, joined in with bits like the food prep and playing with some olden day toys but hated all the steep stairs and wanted to hold two hands everywhere (I was thanking my lucky stars that my sister was with us because I don't know how I'd have managed otherwise!)  Melie wanted to go up and down all the stairs over and over again, preferably without holding hands which was fun.  Or not. 

When we first arrived we were asked to take our bags off so we deposited them away but not before Melie managed to find a snack pot with Oreos in it.  I decided to hold her while she ate it as I was worried she would touch something with it.  She once scraped a pre-chewed Oreo over my bed and it looked suspiciously like poo, so I didn't want a repetition of that.  After mulching it around in her mouth til it was nice and goopy she decided she'd had enough and with no bin in sight I had to take one for the team and eat it myself.  I'm not going to lie, there are some bits of motherhood that are absolutely gross and this is one of them.  Not as gross as accidentally putting my finger in poo when I check her nappy though, that's on another level.

My best thing has been not having to do the morning school run.  No shouting "put your shoes on" over and over again or getting drenched because the bright blue sky that was there when I left the house has suddenly become dark grey rain clouds and I didn't put on a coat or bring the rain cover.  We've actually enjoyed walking the dog.  Bikes and scooters have come out, the girls have looked for painted rocks and today I saw my first snowdrop.  It made me happy.

Anyway, this week I have mainly been working on my Granny Rocks jumper (pattern by Iron Lamb).  I've had to frog it a couple of times as it was coming out very large so I think my once very tight tension may have loosened off somewhat.  I love the fact that the granny stitch is so rhythmic and requires so little thought.  Perfect for when you want to keep your hands busy but your mind calm.  It's coming along nicely now and I'm hoping to get it finished next week.

Today we had a go at making chocolate cupcakes. The girls loves it, especially licking the bowl clean but my baking leaves a lot to be desired and the result is possibly the saddest looking cakes I've ever seen.  

Hopefully a bucketload of butter cream will improve them!

I hope you've had a great week wherever you are!